The MilSpouse Oral Histories Project

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Oral History: Laurain Hackett

This project supports bringing your children to work; hence, this account contains the audio record of a baby in need of a nap.

This week, the MOHP is honored to have Laurain Hackett as a return guest to record an oral history session. Laurain is a 12-year Army veteran, a mother of two, a milspouse of 9 years, and is completing a Master of Social Work degree in Fairbanks, AK. Laurain shares her experiences as an active duty officer in command and on deployment, as well as juggling solo parenthood and military service, and how and why she and her spouse negotiated the transition from dual military to an active-duty service member/working parent partnership. Special thanks to Laurain for joining the MOHP from a very early hour by Alaska Standard Time!

Laurain and her family at Fort Hood (top) and Fort Drum (bottom).

Thank you so much for sharing your story with the MOHP, Laurain!

If you have a story to share with the MOHP, please send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com, or reach out on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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Oral History: Tisa Schmidt

This week, we welcome Tisa Schmidt back to the project! Tisa continues her story of coordinating a centralized family unit in the Midwest while her spouse moves alone to every assignment, including the time her family decided to ditch geo-bachelorhood and move to the beach for a month. Tisa also gives her recommendations for any family experiencing reintegration, including giving your family the gift of time.

Thanks for sharing your story, Tisa!

If you have a story you’d like to share with the Milspouse Oral Histories Project, please send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com or find the project on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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The MOHP: The Army Wife Handbook

Folks, we may have switched to professional mics, but our professionalism doesn’t reach too far past that. Let’s face it, we’re really just hogging decibels on Charlie’s podcast.

This week, Margaret and Marshall delve into a new segment of the MOHP and discuss excerpts from Crossley and Keller’s The Army Wife Handbook (ABI Press, 1993). After getting over the wonder that there is such a thing (it’s actually green!) and we’ve finally found it (33 years late), we decide to help our friend Laurain out and find the regs about hosting military functions. We deep-dive off-track, but are pretty sure we’ve thrown a decent word potluck at the end. Didn’t even need a food handler’s license. *thumbs-up*

If you have a story to share with the project, send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com or find us on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

Photo of Army Wife Handbook credit: Amazon.com.

Margaret and her spouse at their first military ball at Fort Benning, March 2010.

Department farewell for Margaret’s spouse at West Point, May 2022. #tomatodate

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The MOHP: Dual Military with Laurain Hackett

The microphone situation is improving… slowly. Thankfully, Charlie is still coming in loud and clear.

Welcome to Friday! This week, Margaret and Marshall sit down with friend and fellow milspouse Laurain Hackett to discuss a special mode of partnership: the dual military household. In a dual military household, both partners and/or caregivers are servicemembers, often pursuing radically different career goals ,and often on opposing deployment timelines. Join Laurain and Marshall as they swap stories about the unique challenges and benefits to being a dual military spouse, including how to decide where to live (and whether to live together), and how to reconcile one’s identity as a “dependent.”

If you have a story to share with the project, send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com or find the project on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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The MOHP: Gratitude

Turn down your volume, dear listeners. I promise: we will back off the gain in future episodes. Thanks for your patience. #newmicproblems

We at the MilSpouse Oral Histories Project are taking a moment to give thanks for the many blessings in our lives, including family, friends, and all the tools we as military spouses have to create homes and maintain our health and peace of mind all over the world. This week, Margaret and Marshall talk gratitude for the resources, experiences and opportunities found in this milspouse life, from Tricare, educational benefits, and the commissary, to the inimitable sense community ingrained in military neighborhoods. We are also thankful for all of you who have taken time to contribute to the project and listen to the podcast – thank you for being part of our history!

If you have a story to share with the project, send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com or find the project on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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The MOHP: Career

In this episode, we treat your ears to tumbling turtle teethers and the ambient sounds of a Woodwick candle. You’re welcome.

Happy New Year! This week, Marshall and Margaret jettison any hope of listeners and discuss the apparently emotionally fraught issue of work and career in this milspouse life. Do we work? Can we work? Is there work available for us to do? Do we have enough work without working? These questions have different answers at different duty stations, and reflect in varied ways against our servicemembers’ careers and our own personal career goals. As Margaret and Marshall eventually admit, sometimes the only job we can do is no job at all.

If you have a story you’d like to share with the project, find us on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject or send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com. We are currently booking virtual and in-person recording sessions for February and March, and are so close to our collection goal for 2022/23. YOU are part of the historical record – come join us!

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Oral History: Margaret Reaske Robitaille

Be prepared for some barking – a FedEx driver approached the house before my dog could complete her HR-mandated sensitivity training.

This week, we dive into the next installment of my milspouse story, or, as Marshall so eloquently put, A Connecticut Yankee in Alaska’s Court. Looking back, I wish I had adjusted to adult life and milspouse life more gracefully during this time, and I’m happy and honored to share my stumbling blocks with the project. As we will see, sometimes experience is the hardest and most valued teacher one will ever have.

My husband captured me interacting with the local Fairbanks wildlife, August, 2010.

Chena Hot Springs Resort in March 2011, one month before my husband deployed.

The photo I sent to my husband over GChat of my new, unannounced haircut, February 2012.

If you are a current or former milspouse interested in sharing your story with the project, send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com, or reach out on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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The MOHP: Home

Warning: cranky babies and tired mamas lend this episode some extra flavor. Sleep training, anyone?

While we here at the MOHP recognize that it, indeed, is NOT late November, but early December – sorry, life just keeps happening – we welcome you to our latest episode about home, and everything home might mean to a military spouse. Home is a simple concept that can be surprisingly complicated for us, from the actual structure to the people inside it, and Marshall and Margaret are no exception. Snuggle up in your favorite home with your favorite coffee pot, and listen in.

Margaret trying to podcast and mom at the same time. It’s going great, promise.

If you have a story to share with the project, send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com or find the project on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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The MOHP: Reintegration

Happy Tuesday! Join us for a new episode of the Milspouse Oral Histories Podcast. This week, Margaret and Marshall talk about that special and terrible phenomenon that is reintegration, or the reintroduction of a service member into the working family machine after a separation. Come giggle with us as we discuss the worst of that best time for a military family.

After a not-so-brief hiatus to welcome some family visits and stave off some illnesses, the Milspouse Oral Histories Project will take a pause to enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday, and start up again in late November with new Oral Histories and podcast episodes. We at the Project wish a safe, joyous, and peaceful holiday season for you and all of your loved ones, together and apart!

If you have a story about holidays as a milspouse, or anything else you’d like to share with the project, please send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com, or check out the project on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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Oral History: Marshall Rogers

Last week, Marshall Rogers sat for his second oral history session with the Milspouse Oral Histories Project. His account is raw, introspective, and revealing, and illustrates how difficult it is to maintain an emotional connection with one’s spouse while enduring separate trauma, and the dedication needed to grow that connection as we grow and change individually. Thank you, Marshall, for honoring the project with your story.

NOTE: This account contains graphic language, graphic descriptions of combat experience and its aftereffects, and discussions of mental health.

Marshall on his third deployment to Afghanistan.

Marshall and his spouse following his third deployment.

If you are interested in sharing your story with the project, send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com, or find the project on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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Oral History: Lauren Banks

This lovely conversation was conducted on a teething baby’s timetable. We managed to conclude before he exploded.

This week, we welcomed Lauren Banks to the Milspouse Oral Histories Project! Lauren is an active member of her faith community with missionary experience, a mother of two, and a milspouse of 10 years. While sharing her milspouse journey, Lauren reminds us of the power of faith and positive thinking, the importance of staying adaptable, and that there is no such thing as “too many books.” Thank you so much for sharing your stories, Lauren!

If you are interested in sharing your story with the project, send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com, or find the project on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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Oral History: Tisa Schmidt

Baby coos, loud coffee mugs, and calls from the school – it’s all part of the historical record!

This week, Tisa Schmidt, a behavior analyst, mother of four, and milspouse of 7 years, generously shares her experiences with partnership, marriage, and motherhood in this milspouse life, including how Tisa and her husband have crafted a life that grounds her and their family permanently in her hometown. Tisa walks us through what it takes to overcome stereotypes and personal bias, how you know that your person is “the one,” and what it’s like to share life and parenthood with a frequently absent spouse. Thank you so much for sharing your story with the project, Tisa!

Note: this account contains graphic language, descriptions of sexual situations and references to sex work.

If you are interested in sharing your story with the project, send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com, or find the project on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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Oral History: Margaret Reaske Robitaille

We have a wonderfully participatory tiny studio audience for this session, and the conversation gets a little emphatic at times. Prepare to adjust the volume.

This week, we unexpectedly delve into the first chapters of my own milspouse story. I am a teacher and historian, a mother of three, and a milspouse of nearly 13 years. Big thanks to Marshall Rogers for facilitating a discussion about my introduction to military life, including finding out what ROTC actually does, my adventures being Ranger School-adjacent, and our last-minute wedding with big rom-com vibes. I didn’t know if I was ready to share my story yet, but really, are any of us? Thanks for asking, Marshall.

NOTE: This account contains graphic language.

If you are interested in sharing your story with the project, please send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com, or find the project on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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Oral History: Kriszha Sheehy

In true Meet recording form, we enjoyed a lag or two, as well as some dead space for puppy management on both sides of the microphone. Thanks for your patience.

This week, we are privileged to welcome to the project Kriszha Sheehy, Army veteran, psychology research associate, and milspouse and partner of 8 years. Kriszha shares her experiences as an enlisted partner and a veteran spouse, including issues of otherization, gender stereotypes, and the question of when to participate in the FRG and existing milspouse social structure and when to just create your own.

Thank you for joining our project and sharing your experiences, Kriszha!

If you are interested in sharing your story with the Milspouse Oral Histories Project, send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com, or reach out on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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Oral History: Marshall Rogers

Part of this week’s historical record includes bulk trash pickup day, overly enthusiastic dog friends, and as always, baby coos and cries. Thanks for witnessing our lives in real time.

This week, we are privileged to hear from Marshall Rogers, an Army veteran, father of two, and military spouse of twelve years. Marshall shares his stories of transitioning from West Point cadet to second lieutenant, and reflects on his and his wife’s early deployments and how they navigated them as a married couple. Marshall also kindly reminds us all of our inherent value, and that everyone’s story is an important story.

Note: This account contains reflections of combat zone experiences, as well as discussions of mental health.

Marshall (right) on his first deployment to Afghanistan in 2011.

Thank you for sharing your story, Marshall! If you are interested in sharing your story with the Milspouse Oral Histories Project, send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com, or reach out on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.

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Oral History: Whitney Anne Thomas

This week, we are privileged to hear from Whitney Anne Thomas, a marriage and family therapist, mother of four, and milspouse of 15 years. Whitney shares stories from her early experiences as a military spouse, including the challenges of giving birth alone, making and keeping friends in the spouse community, and finding a sense of control and value in all the “invisible work” of this lifestyle. Thank you for joining our project and sharing your experiences, Whitney!

NOTE: This account contains graphic language and discussions of suicide.

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, there are professional resources available to help. Dial 988 or visit http://www.988lifeline.org for assistance.

In addition to Whitney, joining us for the session is her dog Shadow, and my 3 month old son, who happily weighs in on various topics throughout the session.

Whitney and her husband after the birth of their first child.

Whitney and her family right before her husband’s third deployment.

Whitney and her family while at a recent duty station in Hawaii.

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Episode 3: The MOHP with Marshall Rogers

Expect fun and casual conversation between milspouse friends, complete with baby coos, A/C units, and very communicative dogs. It’s all part of the historical record…

Welcome to the first co-ed episode of the Milspouse Oral Histories Podcast! This week, the inimitable Marshall Rogers joins us for a frank conversation about his transition from active-duty soldier to an active-duty spouse, including what to wear now, the challenges of keeping it together for the kids, and the importance of us recognizing the everyday accomplishments within our own spouse community with something maybe other than a rose. Thanks for being here with us, Marshall.

Marshall, his spouse, and their two children at her promotion ceremony at West Point, NY, in April 2021.

Marshall and his spouse on deployment in August 2011.

Check back with us soon for more discussions about the multifaceted milspouse life. If there’s something resonating with you that you’d like to hear more about, write a post to our Instagram page with your ideas or topic suggestions for future MOHP episodes.

If you are interested in sharing your story with the Milspouse Oral Histories Project, please send an email to milspouseoralhistoriesproject@gmail.com, or find the project on Instagram @milspouseoralhistoriesproject.